by Jeff Callaway | Aug 10, 2023 | Benefits of Mediation
Settlement or Court Litigation A quick check of the dictionary indicates that the word “settle” has many meanings. Settle can mean, among other things, to agree, covenant, compensate, reconcile, mend, compromise, reside, or verify. In the legal world, settle or settlement means to resolve a dispute. The basic calculus addressing the pros and cons of a proposed settlement boils down to resolving a dispute through negotiation with an opponent or by way of a judicial decision. To begin, settlement does not mean capitulation. If one party’s position is so rigid, resolution by court may be appropriate. That being said, the contrast between negotiating and the uncertainty in determining a court outcome is not usually so stark. Settlement, particularly in divorce or custody cases, is made up of many shades of gray. It is also useful to understand that a court decision is inherently limited by the boundaries of the law. Judges are prohibited from granting relief for anything other than what is available to a party through statute or case law. These boundaries can diminish the creativity of parties to find a solution to the problem that they really may wish to address. Similarly, the emotional concerns of parties are rarely dealt with adequately when a dispute is resolved through a judicial decision, especially in fights that involve members of a family. Resentments that are not dealt with because of the limitations of the litigation process can continue for generations. The high cost of conflict is yet another factor to consider when evaluating a settlement proposal. While fees for attorneys and other experts that may be needed to present...
by Jeff Callaway | Aug 8, 2023 | Benefits of Mediation
As a mediator, I have had the experience of helping people address their concerns during difficult times when their families are in transition. I have repeatedly observed how people in the midst of emotional distress can lose perspective and hurt themselves by their inability to comprehend what is happening from various points of view. It is my professional goal to listen actively to understand what each party is saying and to offer each of them empathy and an opportunity to consider options that will realistically address their concerns. It is not unusual that in the midst of pain and confusion, parties may not be able to see alternatives that may be useful in solving what may seem to be insurmountable differences. It is not a big revelation to notice that the widespread use of the internet has hugely changed the way all of us operate. With easy access to information through the world wide web, we can readily learn new things and become quite self-sufficient in managing our lives. As we evaluate how to allocate our resources – both time and funds – one of the things to be considered is whether or not we will engage in “do it yourself” or engage in hiring someone to assist us with important transactions. While many believe that they can manage a “do it yourself” agreement, the potential cost of overlooking elements of an agreement and potential misunderstandings through poor communications may impede the achievement of a mutually acceptable and durable agreement. This is especially consequential in relation to impacts on health, finances, or children. Combining research on the internet as a...
by Jeff Callaway | Aug 8, 2023 | Uncategorized
As we mature, all of us eventually come to know that loss from the death of a loved one is inevitable. While we can know that death is truly one of the difficult “facts of life,” managing this loss can be a complicated experience. This complexity frequently occurs in dealing with the “business” of death: the winding up of the decedent’s affairs and the distribution of the decedent’s property. A person who dies without a will or trust and may be classified as intestate. In such situations, the law sets out a plan for the distribution of the decedent’s property. And even in situations where a person does prepare documents that articulate specific wishes about the distribution of his or her property, there may be questions about the validity or clarity of the documents, the appointment of the personal representative (also referred to as the executor), or the value of the decedent’s property. Aside from these particular concerns, it is not uncommon following the death of a loved one to see a triggering of many emotions, including the revival of old grievances, resentments, and rivalries. There may be differences among family members on the actual disposition of the decedent’s remains. Surprises may also be uncovered such as the discovery of children of the decedent who were previously unknown to members of the family. With this in mind, courts have begun to refer parties in estate disputes to mediation. The mediation process can be especially effective in helping the parties deal with grief, while at the same time, helping the parties focus attention on the orderly management of the decedent’s...
by Jeff Callaway | Aug 8, 2023 | Uncategorized
While it may not be now on today’s top 40 list of songs, one great American standard truly resonates with older people. The song, recorded by many, including Frank Sinatra, is called “The Second Time Around.” The lyrics go like this: Love is lovelier the second time around Just as wonderful with both feet on the ground It’s that second time you hear your love song sung Makes you think perhaps that love, like youth, is wasted on the young Love’s more comfortable the second time you fall Like a friendly home the second time you call Who can say what brought us to this miracle we’ve found? There are those who’ll bet love comes but once, and yet I’m oh, so glad we met the second time around. How wonderful! But as is true with many things, consideration of the practical is also an important aspect of maintaining, as the song says, “this miracle.” Older people who have acquired experience and hopefully wisdom while on life’s journey can certainly understand this. To that end, it is important for older couples to think carefully about arrangements that they may choose to make in establishing a household with another in later life. For some, marriage is appropriate, while others may prefer a domestic partnership arrangement or a situation where each maintains his or her separate residence, sharing only in certain assets and liabilities. There is not necessarily a perfect right or wrong answer. In new situations where issues are not fully resolved, a mediator can help sort out the approach best suited for the couple. Clarification of expectations and avoidance...
by Jeff Callaway | Aug 8, 2023 | Uncategorized
Creating a sustainable and healthy plan for your children is a challenging exercise. When discussing the options available to your family, it is helpful to consider these factors: The needs of your children and their particular temperaments Current and previous arrangements to care for your children Health, educational or religious concerns Safety concerns Appropriate scheduling arrangements for all family members Maintaining connections with immediate and extended family members and friends Communicating with the other parent and your children to explain arrangements in the future Fortunately, there are multiple resources that parents can use to assist them in creating a parenting plan. One of the most helpful resources has been developed by the Maryland Judiciary, the Maryland Parenting Tool which you can find under the Resource heading of this website. [guide reader to resource page of website] This document outlines the many decisions that parents must make in caring for their children and, significantly, addresses how parents are going to make these decisions. Note, however, that while the Maryland Parenting Tool is a template that provides parents with a helpful starting point, every family is different. Customization of the template may be critical to creating a successful plan. During the course of a mediation, many people can effectively work their way through the Maryland Parenting Plan Tool. By assessing behaviors that have worked and not worked well in the past, through mediation parents can make a new beginning and reduce the likelihood of conflict in the...
